Film news - Infamous Toronto Pervert Going to Hollywood

Toronto's favourite misogynistic weirdo is getting his own movie.

Brad Goodman, producer of Sasha Baron Cohen's Brüno and Borat is making a documentary about Dimitri the Lover, harasser of young Toronto ladies, subject of feminist controversy, and source of constant amusement (for me, at least).

The movie is apparently taking a fairly neutral stance and not attempting to vilify Dimitri in any way, but, well, it's kind of hard to avoid picking up on his absurdity altogether.

I, for one, am eagerly awaiting the result, which will probably be ridiculous and hilarious despite its obvious attempt at controversy (c'mon, you don't really think he's serious, do you? He's writing a book called Mein Kock, for god's sake).

Full article at The Torontoist.

A letter to the pedestrians of Toronto - Jessica Gilbert

Dear pedestrians,

First of all let me say that this is not meant to be viscous or patronizing in any form, nor do I gain pleasure from telling you what I am about to tell you. This is simply a matter of necessity and I would like to inform the general populous of certain concepts that may have never been introduced through a series of letters.

Turning corners is one of the most important skills you will be required to master in your pedestrian career seeing as more often than not, they exist around…well… every corner. Now, the Toronto layout bears a striking resemblance to that of a grid system and if you want to lead a harmonious existence within our multifaceted metropolis, you’ll have to come to terms with the facts. These bastards are everywhere and they are out to get you. As you approach one you may find yourself blind and bombarded with worries. Is there anyone coming the other way? What if they’re running? What if they’re running with scissors?!
 
I assure you that there is a method of getting through these unharmed. This sudden panic may compel you to stick to that wall like Velcro but you must fight this urge as it is the root of a common misconception.

You are not Pac-man. No one will be impressed by how fast you can turn a corner and unless there is a convex mirror mounted at that pivoting point, please take caution.

This common malpractice has led to many collisions and spilt coffees that could be easily avoided if only you would round out your trajectory but a fraction! Implementing this method is well worth it and though doing it takes some effort, it benefits everyone. If you are late, you won’t be any later; if you’re angry you won’t piss off anyone else; if you are an oblivious klutz, no one will be the wiser!

Like I said before this is the most crucial aspect of pedestrian navigation and I know this seems hard but it gets easier from here. So until my next letter I implore you to try your best. Think about it Toronto.

Hype-Worthy Thrillers at Sundance 2010

Sundance usually caters to a select crowd - you know the kind. The kind who like stuff about a malnourished hobo with homemade tattoos and a chick who lives on a mountain with her drug-dealer dad.

However, in case you're the kind of film fanatic who enjoys movies about vengeance, torture, bio-engineered monster, and Ryan Reynolds stuck in a box, do yourself a favour and keep reading.


Buried, starring Ryan Reynolds, directed by Rodrigo Cortes

This is hands-down the most exciting thing I've heard out of the festival circuit this year. Ryan Reynolds stars as a contractor in Iraq who literally gets buried alive. What ensues is an entire film that takes place in a dark coffin with one man, one lighter, one cell phone, and what promises to be one absolutely terrifying experience for someone claustrophobic like me. Rumours are flying about Buried becoming this year's Paranormal Activity, and a pretty good testament to the fact that it doesn't require a ton of money to create a great thriller. Check out the teaser trailer here.


Splice, starring Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody, directed by Vincenzo Natali

Vincenzo Natali (responsible for cult-horror hit Cube - arguably a better pre-Saw film than Saw) teams up with fellow Canadian Sarah Polley (director of the acclaimed Away From Her) and Adrien Brody for Splice, a tale of two young and eager scientists who use cutting-edge biotechnology to create what later becomes a monster. According to IMDB, the creature "develops from a deformed female infant into a beautiful but dangerous winged human-chimera" - um, yes please. Here's a clip, which, in my professional opinion, looks pretty batshit insane.



Les 7 jours du talion (7 Days), starring Remy Girard, directed by Daniel Grou

Yet another (French) Canadian Sundance selection, the news is that 7 Days does what other torture horror films fail to do - be quiet, contemplative, and (judging by the trailer - it's in French but you get the idea) with beautiful cinematography as well as explosively graphic violence and brutality. After his young daughter is murderer, a father kidnaps and tortures her killer over a course of seven days. Reports that this is a difficult film to watch stem from both the extreme violence and the emotionally gripping visions the audience has into the mind of the traumatized father. Dark, bleak, and depressing for sure, but it does look fantastic.

Social Media Revolution

I recently stumbled on this video that shows us the "Social Media Revolution" we're currently in.

How accurate the stats are, I'm not too sure. Nevertheless, it has a Fatboy Slim track playing in the background, and that alone is reason enough to take a look. Seeing these facts makes me wonder what the hell people did before this so called "Revolution"?

I think somewhere along the line of this whole social media frenzy, people figured that it was necessary to update everyone on their daily business. Am I suppose to care that, "Stacy is gearing up for Friday Night", or "Steve got a paper cut and it hurts like a B****"? The answer is "No. Hell no".

Don't get me wrong, I love the Internet and all it's perks. And to be honest, the Inter-webs along with Nintendo raised me better then my parents ever could. But I do think it can also work against you if you don't know what you're doing.

For instance, the whole stolen identity and privacy thing is a huge issue. You have people b****** about their accounts being breached and their pictures being used. What do you expect when your whole life is plastered online. The only thing missing from some of these people's albums is a picture of them when they were 4 years old, sitting on a pony. People put a little too much trust in these social sites.

13 albums and 314 pictures?? Don't mind if I do!!

Want to finally show that ex who keeps hanging around to the door?

Well now thanks to one of Toronto’s newest additions, you can do it without the hassle of hauling your ex’s ass out there yourself. No, this is not a relationship advice column. Nor is it and ad for GROPETO’s own line of personal ads. MYEXCLOSET is Canada’s newest connoisseur of vintage, indie, and mid to high end designer fashion labels. Who says you can’t have your best friend’s leftovers? With MYEXCLOSET you surely won’t be getting sloppy seconds.

Not your average consignment boutique, MYEXCLOSET is a Canada-wide online venture started by the likes of Cassie Cowie & co. Offering in-house pickup when you want to sell your gently loved ex’s and mail to your door when you think you’ve found a new love, MYEXCLOSET puts a twist on your Grandma’s favourite consignment shop. Catering to the university, hipster and yuppie crowd alike, MYEXCLOSET also hosts shopping parties every couple of months held in warehouse-style locations in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver. With labels ranging from vintage Louis Vuitton to Urban Outfitters and American Apparel, every fashionista will be doomed to have their shopping cart (or their arms) full with some chick’s leftovers.

MYEXCLOSET provides a practical solution to those of you who want to raid their closet of all that gorgeous stuff you bought because you just couldn’t resist (even though you knew you probably would never wear it), and gently loved designer (like that vintage LV bag your Aunt Flo handed down that you couldn’t really ever find an occasion to use) but just can’t find the time to sell it all yourself yet can’t find it in yourself to just give away. The only pet peeve I have with MYEXCLOSET is shipping costs. Which technically isn’t their fault, since we all know Canada Post just sucks, period. Local pick up for buyers might be a good solution, since it’s already being done for sellers, but until then the brick & mortar sales and Clothing Show appearances do the trick if you’re the type that just loathes buying online.

The ecoholic and recessionista in me are giddy just thinking about raiding their inventory at the next Clothing Show at Exhibition Place this spring. When I first fell in love with MYEXCLOSET last fall at The Clothing Show, I essentially bolted over to their booth once I spotted their array of mukluks, Frye boots, 7 for All Mankind jeans, Marc Jacobs bags and tons and tons of more ex’s from Aritzia, Urban Outfitters and Holt’s. Looks were definitely NOT deceiving, as I winded up leaving with a nice hefty bag full of goodies, only to give in to temptation and end up going back for more before leaving. The experience was far from your usual vintage shopping trip at Kensington or Value Village’s 50% off days, with impeccable organization to make your shopping experience all the easier and mint condition items (some even with tags, like the American Apparel high-waisted nylon tricot tights I picked up for $10, marked down from $46, what a steal!).

You can rummage through some seconds online at MYEXCLOSET.com or check them out on facebook and keep in the loop about upcoming sales and updates by searching “MYEXCLOSET”.

Tattoos and Why One Woman Thinks You Shouldn't Bother If You're Not Angelina

Sitting in the waiting room of a downtown Toronto counselling clinic (not for therapy, for once – scouting out locations for a student film and anticipating the arrival of my now twenty minutes late partner in crime), I idly flipped through the October 2009 issue of Elle, a highly-regarded Canadian fashion magazine that leans toward the haute couture. Due to this fact, I did not expect to happen upon

A: An article about tattoos;

Or B: A positive article about tattoos.

Best guesses as to which the article contained (Hint: it sure as hell wasn’t Option B).

Oh, it wasn’t all bad. The author did admit that tattoos look “fab” on Angelina and Rhianna, but she cautions the rest of us mere mortals to think twice before getting a tattoo, because we might not “suit one.”

There are some interesting notions surrounding this tidbit of advice. One is that only “certain people” can appropriately pull off tattoos. Whether they be exotic Hollywood goddesses or punk rock rebels remains to be seen, but the author seems to be hinting that “normal” people, with normal clothes, normal looks, and normal attitudes, would look positively ridiculous with a tattoo. She claims tattoos “suit” a person, like a particular outfit would, and if a tattoo doesn’t fit within the boundaries of your look, it is inappropriate for you to bother with one.

The other strange part of this article is the author’s experience with her own tattoo, which she got on a lark in college – by a tattoo artist in a dingy shop who smoked a joint the entire time and, quite obviously, ruined the Urdu script she had chosen. She went home, immediately hated the tattoo, scrubbed it with a scouring pad (allegedly believing this might actually work), and eventually gave up and took to constantly wearing clothes that hid the tattoo for the next fifteen years.

According to this enlightened individual, because she was incredibly irresponsible and chose to leave something as monumental as a first tattoo, something that is a permanent and life-altering decision, in the hands of an individual under the influence of drugs in a shoddy shop, we should all take caution when getting a tattoo. The author could have stressed the importance of research, how to locate a friendly and clean shop with talented artists, but instead she simply shrugs off her story as yet another reason why some people should avoid tattoos altogether.

Reading this, my immediate thought (aside from irritation and “I should totally write an article about this”) was, “Why doesn’t she just get a cover-up from someone who knows what they’re doing?” Sure enough, the author does address this – and claims it is only one of her many fantasies. She imagines herself (I paraphrase here) “At L.A. Ink, hair flowing over one shoulder as Kat von D constructs an elaborate piece to cover up my mistake, but this will never happen.”

Probably not, dear author – but why not do the apparently unthinkable and actually put more than thirty seconds of thought into your cover up design, visit an artist who doesn’t have a blunt sticking out of his mouth, and get something to change your mangled piece into something beautiful? Or can only incredibly attractive rebellious celebrities who get tattoos from other incredibly attractive rebellious celebrities fulfill this particular fantasy?

Feminism and U - Rustybucket

Ding! Dong! The Bitch is Dead!

 

Mary Daly’s dead.

Or she has been for more than two weeks as she died on January 3rd. Still, it’s not every day someone important dies, especially not famous feminists. Some of you may be know who she is, some of you won’t. For the convenience of the latter group, that’s okay, because I’m here to paint a particularly nasty and biased picture of the hag for you.

Mary Daly is the epitome of everything wrong recently with the feminist movement. She was a radical lesbian feminist who taught at Boston College, and was almost fired for a publication of a book in 1968. Following support from the public and the all-male student body, she wasn’t fired and was granted tenure. That’s perfectly fine, though, because 30 years later she was fired (or in the words of the media, “retired”) and lost her tenure because she decided to refuse male students from attending her classes. Oh wait, that sounds awfully familiar...

…Nope, doesn’t ring a bell. Can’t remember what that reminded me of. Oh well, it couldn’t have been important.

 

"Boston College has wronged me and my students by caving in to rightwing pressure and depriving me of my right to teach freely," Ms Daly said. "This is not about discrimination. This is about leveling the rights of women and minorities."

Of course, Miss Daly decided to elaborate on that view:

"But Daly argues she cannot effectively teach these courses with men in the room because it creates a dynamic that inhibits women. Not only do men misunderstand her concepts - because men cannot understand what it's like to be a woman - but they tend to be disruptive, believing they are similarly oppressed, she says. These kinds of disrupting influences 'dumb down' the class, she insists, keeping it from 'soaring.'"

Makes sense.

To a question posed to her about an article that stated that men should be reduced to about 10% of the population, she supported the idea and elaborated that “If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males.”

The transcript of the interview can be found here:

http://www.enlightennext.org/magazine/j16/daly.asp?page=2

It’s people like her that make the modern woman disassociate themselves with the term “feminist.” The image is no longer the positive one of strong women marching for suffrage, for the right to their own body, to equal treatment, but of a lunatic who doesn’t shave in defiance of “the man,” butchers the English language by quibbling about job titles, and thinks of men as the scum of the earth and the instigator of all that is unholy. The feminism movement is based on equality, and for those who define themselves as feminists and believe in that concept still, wonderful: All my love to you for supporting a reasonable concept rather than one of purging the male population like a Feminazi Germany. To those of you who consider this woman to be respectable and credible rather than merely an interesting read, what provokes you to think this way?

On a related note, the Toronto Women’s Bookstore is in danger of closing its doors. Seeing as it is actually a positive influence on women, I implore you to support them in their time of need.

http://www.womensbookstore.com/communityletter.html

Shabamzy - Super Market Ruckus Rating

The Ruckus Rating

by Shabamzy

Place: Super Market

Address: 268 Augusta Ave.

Kensington Market

Calamity ensues every single time they let me into the Super Market. It's the kind of bar where you can tear your shirt from martini guzzling throat to beat gyrating pelvis and the bartender won't say boo bigly. The fine lot at the Super Market caters to a thoughtful flock like yourself. They offer you nights called Tear It Like A Ferret with host SERBSUPERB on Jan 29th, humping out Funk, Hip Hop and Electro. Note also, The launch of DINOSAUR PORN on Jan 28th a talkie talking event with readers like Louise Bak, Gary Barwin and Arnaud Brassard. Slick! Free! 7:30pm!

There always seems to be a tiny line there, evidence of popularity with a mild notion they are keeping you as patron trophies to attract More patron trophies. Like a greedy friend you still want to hang around with but secretly wish you could jab with a saucy dinner fork. Once you get past the bouncer; and from experience a sizzle hot face and a sob story is effective, it's vitally important to march straight to the back and climb on the stage.

They let you do this with little regard for your dancing ability. I pull off the "cement mixer", the "samurai sword" and the "limp left foot is asleep" and don't get a single bottle to the head from the crowd. Tolerant I'd say. Friendly even. The patrons of the Super Market are attractive people. The kind you would sleep with out of wedlock. Trend hounds and fashion buckers mix at the 15 or so tables they have. Most stand by the bar and chat about Asian fusion food and bad memories from high school. Having one friend repeatedly screaming happy new year in mangled chinese went over well with grins from the 20 something crowd on Friday night. You will like this place.

The food is packed with flavour and agreeable to the insides. My wallet still has some weight to it as well, not having been stripped bare by their rates. I went with their nightly four course for $15 prix fixe meal. Soup, mango salad with chicken satay, vegetarian pad thai with vegetables and dessert.

You can drink at the Super Market with an average of 4.50 a bevy. It's not $10 pitchers and it's not $10 martinis It's right in the middle. Like a navel. You can impress a date you want to lock flappers with and you won't come off as pretentious or homeless.

Shop smart, Shop S-uper Market.

Ruckus Rating = a scale out of 6 rating the amount of crazed behaviours the place tolerates before being thrown out or beaten with a pipe end.

Super Market has a Rucks Rating of 4.5.

Signed,

Someone who could tackle you to the ground.

Shabamzy.

House On Parliament

Cabbagetown may not be the first thing that pops to mind when you think of brunch, but on weekends House on Parliament serves up the one of the tastiest brunches in town. Their Eggs Florentine platter boasts 2 poached eggs perched on top of mushrooms and tomato, which in turn rest on gently toasted English muffins. The whole affair is drizzled with rich thick hollandaise sauce and paired with hot salty breakfast potatoes and cold fresh fruit. Orange juice was served in the largest glasses I have ever seen.

It is located on Parliament Street (if that was not self-evident) on the corner of Carlton. Thick curtains shield the entrance from the outside world. Inside, the lighting is dim, but the pub has a softer, cozier feel than some of the other pubs you may find along king street and other neighborhoods in the downtown core. The staff is friendly; there is no attitude here. They serve you as if you are family. If you are stopping by during the summer there is a patio as well.

If you are stopping by in between classes during the week, their lunch menu is also very tasty. A recommendation would be the soy burger paired with sweet potato fries. The pulled-pork sandwich is supposed to be a top recommendation as well.

Prices are very reasonable, with plates costing around $10 or less. It was approximately $30 for two brunches with beverages, and lunch was similarly priced. Whether you haven’t made it over to this side of town yet, or you’re in the neighborhood and looking to grab a quick bite to eat this is definitely one place worth checking out.

456 Parliament Street Toronto ON M5S 3A2 Tel: 416-925-4074

How High School Leaves You Unprepared

I know what you're thinking; high school gives you the fundamentals for your future. Uh, not so fast. Although it does set the ground work, it fails to completely prepare you for life after school. Let me explain.

Don't get me wrong here; I agree that Math, Science, English and Social Studies are all building blocks for future success but I think the school system fails to implement the most obvious studies. You're taught subjects throughout high school that are basically meant to make you money when put to use. Your knowledge or expertize in a specific field ultimately makes you money to survive. What blows my mind is the failure to teach how to manage the money you make. Investments, saving, spending habits, etc. This has to be one of the biggest over sights in our solar system. There are a lot of people making decent money, yet some how maintain a huge amount of debt. Still unsure how the school system missed this one. Who knows, maybe they want you in debt.

Second; relationships. This should be a given. Your partner determines a lot about your future; Financially, emotionally and maybe even physically.

Your home is NOT your biggest investment, your partner is! What's sad is that the majority of people place more thought into what car they're about to lease than their potential life long partner. The school system should at least teach the basics. Look for someone who's giving, caring, positive, smart, motivated, etc.
Ask yourself, would I go into business with this person?
In reality that's what you're doing because if worse comes to worse (and it probably will) and you do end up parting ways, you can bet that your break-up/divorce will end up costing you financially and emotionally.

The current divorce rate is 50%. Just imagine all those couples that are unhappy but stay together for kids, finances, and/or comfort.

Anyway, in the end you're gonna do what you're gonna do. =D

Grope TO: An introduction

Greetings all who stumble upon this blog. Here's a hook for those of you who automatically assume we're nothing special.

I hate to brag, but we are special. We're a thorough compendium of everything awesome about the art, music, fashion, and culture within our city, seen through the eyes of post-secondary students, those who wish they were, and those who have a particular fondness for them. We're also a collection of musings, rants, raves, and special little tidbits of advice for the student in you who asks; where am I going with my life? What can I do about this crushing stress in my gut (aside from "drink more", that is)? Where can I find four-dollar Thai food at 2 AM?

Know what we know, and grope what we grope. Feel out our city.