Shabamzy - Super Market Ruckus Rating

The Ruckus Rating

by Shabamzy

Place: Super Market

Address: 268 Augusta Ave.

Kensington Market

Calamity ensues every single time they let me into the Super Market. It's the kind of bar where you can tear your shirt from martini guzzling throat to beat gyrating pelvis and the bartender won't say boo bigly. The fine lot at the Super Market caters to a thoughtful flock like yourself. They offer you nights called Tear It Like A Ferret with host SERBSUPERB on Jan 29th, humping out Funk, Hip Hop and Electro. Note also, The launch of DINOSAUR PORN on Jan 28th a talkie talking event with readers like Louise Bak, Gary Barwin and Arnaud Brassard. Slick! Free! 7:30pm!

There always seems to be a tiny line there, evidence of popularity with a mild notion they are keeping you as patron trophies to attract More patron trophies. Like a greedy friend you still want to hang around with but secretly wish you could jab with a saucy dinner fork. Once you get past the bouncer; and from experience a sizzle hot face and a sob story is effective, it's vitally important to march straight to the back and climb on the stage.

They let you do this with little regard for your dancing ability. I pull off the "cement mixer", the "samurai sword" and the "limp left foot is asleep" and don't get a single bottle to the head from the crowd. Tolerant I'd say. Friendly even. The patrons of the Super Market are attractive people. The kind you would sleep with out of wedlock. Trend hounds and fashion buckers mix at the 15 or so tables they have. Most stand by the bar and chat about Asian fusion food and bad memories from high school. Having one friend repeatedly screaming happy new year in mangled chinese went over well with grins from the 20 something crowd on Friday night. You will like this place.

The food is packed with flavour and agreeable to the insides. My wallet still has some weight to it as well, not having been stripped bare by their rates. I went with their nightly four course for $15 prix fixe meal. Soup, mango salad with chicken satay, vegetarian pad thai with vegetables and dessert.

You can drink at the Super Market with an average of 4.50 a bevy. It's not $10 pitchers and it's not $10 martinis It's right in the middle. Like a navel. You can impress a date you want to lock flappers with and you won't come off as pretentious or homeless.

Shop smart, Shop S-uper Market.

Ruckus Rating = a scale out of 6 rating the amount of crazed behaviours the place tolerates before being thrown out or beaten with a pipe end.

Super Market has a Rucks Rating of 4.5.

Signed,

Someone who could tackle you to the ground.

Shabamzy.